It has been decided I stay behind for Christmas with my daughter who cannot for various reasons come back to Sri Lanka - so the family is all over. Son and eldest daughter with my husband and me and second daughter here in Melbourne.
I am feeling rather mixed up - by now I would have done so much - changing curtains and decor of the house, the ornaments would have been pulled out and arranged and we would be awaiting my son's return to do the tree which is totally his job. The excitement would be building up.
This year I feel as if I am watching from a distance. I read the blogs and everyone is so Christmassy and taking such a lot of effort over Christmas and here am I doing absolutely nothing. The house we live in Melbourne hasn't a single decoration - when I asked my daughter do you want a tree she looked at me as if I was asking her a very silly question. I thought ok we make the best of what we've got but obviously no. I have not even thought of food or even whether we will visit a friend who has left an open invitation for us to spend the entire Christmas season with her or my brother who has said come over for Christmas lunch, what to get everyone for Christmas - actually anything. Its the first time in my 55 years here on earth that I am behaving like this and actually I am puzzled.
I thought I'd get in the mood by listening to some Christmas music but I only seem to get very modern versions of what I like and what I like is the traditional version. Charlotte Church was a good choice though and now I must try to find a church which would have a nice service on Christmas day. I better get cracking as I now realize that there is very little time.
My son leaves for Sri Lanka on Monday and it is going to be very lonely after that. Ok enough of the grumblings, lets get to grips with my general lackadaisical attitude.
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